You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
