Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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