shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
