I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
