i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
