I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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