please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
