Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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