so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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