I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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