just survived the first fart of the relationship.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
