Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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