Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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