a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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