New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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