MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
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I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
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Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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