Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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