Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
