I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Randomize
