There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
