You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
