Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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