I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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