Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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