I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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