its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Randomize
