She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
is that a dick in a sweater?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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