i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Someone shattered a urinal.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?