Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!