one two three fourrrrnication!
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!