he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.