I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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