I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
there's paper in my vomit.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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