I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
