i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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