Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
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He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
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After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize