What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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