if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
