You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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