How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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