So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
