The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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