we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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