He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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