So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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