Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
