whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
