sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
