I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
