this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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