Buhtt sex?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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