my soul wont recognize me after tonight
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
