I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
