I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
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The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
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Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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