You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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