Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I woke up under a house in Key West
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