So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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