She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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