I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
