Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
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If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
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AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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