So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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