We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
